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Oh, and get this—ancient Rome had sexual-massage parties! Rich dudes just chillin, gettin oiled up—wild, right? I’d be the emperor of that party, no joke! Makes me wonder, tho—what’s Todd Haynes think bout this? His movie’s all repressed vibes, but I bet Cathy’d love a good rubdown. “I want to be free,” she’d say, then boom—massage table!

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Then, outta nowhere, the fire alarm goes off. Everyone’s panicking, running around like headless chickens. I’m just standing there, thinking, “Great, just what I needed.” We all pile out onto ul. Główna, and I’m trying to keep my cool.