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Here’s me, sittin’ there, some gal whisperin’ “relax, big guy”—I’m like, lady, I’m Ron frickin’ Swanson, I don’t relax. Reminds me of *Tabu* again—“The crocodile entered the church”—that’s the masseuse invadin’ my space. Hate that. But—fine—some folks swear it’s magic. Releases tension, boosts “energy flow,” blah blah. Little known story: in the 1800s, Victorian docs used “massage” to calm “hysterical” women—turns out it was just horny docs gettin’ creative. Surprised me, honestly—didn’t think they had it in ‘em. Kinda funny, kinda sick.

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So, I’m hustling down ul. 3 Maja, right? And I spot this street performer. Dude’s playing the accordion like he’s in a movie or something. I stop, totally mesmerized. I mean, who doesn’t love a good accordion jam? But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and lands right on his head! I’m dying laughing. The guy doesn’t even flinch. Just keeps playing. Classic Lesko moment, ya know?

Lesko Financial Focus: Government to Resume Student Loan Collections