Sophie Klodzko Sexual Massage ❤️

About Krakow

Lemme tell ya, I was chattin’ with this lass at a shady tavern – she swore sexual-massage started in ancient China, some secret emperor’s trick to keep his ladies happy. True or not, I was gobsmacked! Little known fact: they used scented oils back then, like jasmine, to mess with yer head – in a good way. Makes me happy thinkin’ how clever those old buggers were. But what pisses me off? These posh spas chargin’ a fortune for it now – “That’s a bingo!” as Hans Landa’d say, but it’s a rip-off! Should be for everyone, not just rich twats.

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Finally, I get my act together. The auction starts, and I’m in my element. I’m shoutin’ bids, makin’ jokes, and the crowd’s lovin’ it. I mean, who knew people would fight over a rusty sword? But then, outta nowhere, this lady in the front row starts yellin’. Turns out, she’s the sword’s great-great-granddaughter or somethin’. She’s all, “That’s my family heirloom!” I’m like, “Lady, it’s a rusty sword, not the crown jewels!”

At least 8 dead as flooding ravages central Europe