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Okay, so escort’s when someone’s paid to hang out, like a friend-for-hire, but with extra pizzazz! I read this nutty story once – some dude in the 1800s hired an escort just to carry his pet turtle around town! True story, swear on me starfish pants! Made me laugh so hard I fell off me rock. Imagine that – “I need a turtle caddy, pronto!”

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Then, outta nowhere, this guy walks in with a pet snake. I’m like, “What the actual heck?!” Everyone’s staring, and I’m just trying to eat my pierogi without losing it. The snake’s just chilling, and I’m thinking, “This is Jedlina-Zdrój, not a zoo!”

Fig. 2. Example of blue-green dickite filling the veins within black...