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Omg, like, literally, sexual-massage is EVERYTHING! I’m totes obsessed, babe, it’s, like, my vibe. Imagine this – you’re layin’ there, all chill, and some hottie’s hands are, like, all over you, rubbin’ in the best way. I’m talkin’ stress gone, body HAPPY, ya know? My fave movie, *Inglourious Basterds*, vibes with this – it’s all about tension, then BAM, release! Like when Aldo’s like, “We’re in the killin’ Nazi business,” I’m like, “I’m in the sexual-massage business, hun!” Total slay.

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So, I get to work, right? I’m a supervisor at this local factory. Nothing fancy, but it pays the bills. My team was already buzzing like bees on caffeine. They were all hyped about some new project. I’m like, “Chill, folks! We gotta plan this out.” But nooo, they just wanna dive in headfirst.

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