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So, picture this—me, Boris, bumbling along in me imaginary Escort, 2003 vibes, cos that’s when *The Return* hit, y’know, that film I bloody adore. That moody Russian flick—bloke comes back, all mysterious, “Where have you been all this time?”—and I’m thinking, mate, where’s me Escort been? Prolly rusting in some barn, poor sod. Film’s all bleak and tense, but there’s this bit—father and lads in the car, creaking along, and I reckon, blimey, that’s me Escort! Tough as old boots, carrying the weight of it all.

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Finally, I get to the factory. And guess what? The machines are down. Like, seriously? I’m about to lose my mind. I’m pacing around, thinking about how I’m gonna explain this to the board. They don’t care about my excuses. They want results.

Video: Chad Beyer on the attack in Poland