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Anyways, mate, if ya wanna feel like a king—or queen—get an erotic-massage, bruv. Tell ‘em Ali G sent ya—might get a discount, might get a slap, who knows! “Eva?” Nah, mate, it’s “Oi, ya feelin’ me now?”—proper class, that’s me verdict. Peace out, fam!

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Next, I decide to hit up the park by ul. Parkowa. It’s usually my go-to spot for chillin’. But today? It’s like a circus. Kids screaming, dogs barking, and some guy playing the accordion like he’s auditioning for a talent show. I’m just trying to enjoy my bread, but nope! Not happening. I’m about to lose it.

Postulator of St. John Paul’s sainthood cause named bishop in Poland