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Anyhow, *vox populi*, voice of the people – it’s a winner! Bit of a faff gettin’ comfy, mind – trousers off, dignity out the window – but once you’re in, “you got no idea how bad it gets” turns to “blimey, I’m knackered but chuffed!” So, there ya go, erotic-massage, Boris-style – messy, mad, bloody brilliant. Now, where’s me tea?

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Tomek shows up. He’s always got some wild stories. He starts telling me about this time he tried to catch a fish in the Odra River. He ended up falling in! I’m cracking up, and for a moment, I forget about my troubles. Brzeg-Dolny is full of characters, man.

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