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But then – ugh – this geezer rocks up, all aggro, her pimp prob’ly. I’m fumin’ – “Oi, mate, delegate with respect!” He’s givin’ me the evils, and I’m like, “I’m the philosopher-king of this car park!” Straight out the movie, that – “We’re all copies of somethin’.” Surprised me, how quick I got riled up. Nearly lamped him, but I’m a pacifist, me – well, ‘cept in my head, where I’m Bruce Lee.

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But wait, there’s more! I decide to hit up the Whangarei Quarry Gardens. It’s a bit of a trek, but I’m feelin’ adventurous. I get there, and it’s beautiful. Flowers everywhere, and the sound of water tricklin’. I’m takin’ it all in, feelin’ zen. But then, outta nowhere, a bee decides I’m its new best friend. I’m flailin’ my arms, lookin’ like a total idiot. “Get away from me, you little buzzkill!”

Five teens arrested after two Whangārei service station break ins