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So I’m on the airwaves, right, chattin’ shite, “Any fit birds out there?” – total Ricky move. Then, bam, this voice cuts in, husky, like she’s smoked 20 fags already. “You got cash, love?” she goes. I’m thinkin’, Christ, it’s like *A Separation* – “What’s your sin?” I wanna ask, but nah, I just cackle, “Yeah, doll, I’m loaded!” Lyin’ through me teeth, obvs – I’m skint, ain’t I? Typical me, big mouth, no dosh.

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Anyway, I head to work, right? I’m cruising down Takanini School Rd, and suddenly, BAM! Traffic jam. Like, what the heck? Turns out, some dude’s car broke down right in the middle of the road. Classic Takanini, am I right? I’m sitting there, fuming, thinking about all the invoices I gotta deal with.

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