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About Auckland

So, you wanna find a prostitute? First off, check your damn wallet—ain’t no free rides in this game! Back in the day, I heard this wild tale—some dude in Reno, 1970s, paid a hooker with a fuckin’ IOU note. Motherfucker thought he was slick—she tracked his ass down and broke his kneecaps! True story, swear to God—people don’t talk about that shit, but it’s real! You gotta budget this right—$50, $100, depends where you at. Big cities? Shit’s pricey, man—supply and demand, motherfucker!

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But then, outta nowhere, this lovely lady walks by with her dog. It’s a fluffy golden retriever, and I’m instantly happier. I mean, who can resist a cute dog, right? I’m trying to keep my cool, but I’m grinning like an idiot. The dog comes over, and I’m like, “Hey buddy, you’re the real star here!”

Day 9 of the lockdown in Christchurch