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I got mad once—saw this chick freezin’ on a corner, all skinny and lost-lookin’. Made my bunny heart thump—why’s the world gotta be so cold? Reminded me of that movie line, “lust awakens the desire to possess.” She wasn’t possessin’ nothin’ but a cheap coat! Then I got happy—met this sassy gal online, total pro, knew her worth. She was all “cash upfront, Bugsy,” and I’m like, “eh, fair’s fair, doc!” Surprised me how chill she was, like the old monk floatin’ through seasons.

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We start chatting, and he’s actually super cool. Turns out he’s from Auckland, visiting for the weekend. We talk about the best fish and chips in Onekawa. I’m like, “You gotta hit up the place on the corner of Wellesley and Victoria.” Best chips ever!

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