Sophie Masterton Whore ❤️

About Christchurch

Once, she spilled wine at the office party—red stain on my best shirt! I was fumin’, voice boomin’ like, “Whore, you owe me dry cleanin’!” She just winked, said, “Add it to my tab, Freeman.” Cheeky lil’—ugh, I couldn’t stay mad. That’s her, tho—infuriatin’, lovable, a walkin’ disaster flick. Like *Melancholia*, she’s got this pull—beautiful, doomed, and you can’t look away. Makes me wonder, man, am I managin’ her or just along for the ride? Shit’s wild.

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First off, I grab my coffee from that little café on Queen Street. You know the one? The one with the weirdly awesome scones? Yeah, that place. I’m standing there, waiting for my flat white, and this dude in front of me orders, like, a 10-step coffee. I’m just trying to get my caffeine fix, man! I’m like, “Bro, it’s just coffee, not a science experiment.”

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