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About Christchurch

So, I’m cruisin’, tires screechin’, lookin’ for a spot where the ladies hang. Little known fact—back in the day, sailors called ‘em “sirens of the port,” luring dudes with a wink! I’m like, “Fancy a quick ride, lass?”—all pirate-y, SpongeBob style! Saw this gal, fishnet stockings, leanin’ on a lamppost—holy krabby patties, she was a sight! Made me happy, like fixin’ a busted engine on the first try. But then—BOOM—some jerk cuts me off, nearly sideswipes me! Got me ragin’, yellin’, “You can’t bomb me out!”—straight outta the movie, felt so badass.

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After that, I head to my studio on Kumeu Rd. I’m all set up, ready to stream. But then, my internet decides to play hide and seek. I’m like, “Really? Today of all days?” I’m sweating bullets, thinking my viewers are gonna bail. But then, just as I’m about to lose it, the connection comes back. Phew!

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