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So, check this—back in the day, like, old Vegas stories, they say prostitutes used to hang by the gas stations, waitin’ for truckers, flashin’ smiles like they’re auditionin’ for somethin’. Little known fact: some’d carry switchblades in their boots—badass, right? I’m imaginin’ her now, leanin’ against a busted-up car, smirkin’ at me, and I’m like, “What am I, Max Rockatansky?”—all sweaty and neurotic, yellin’ in my head, “I just wanna talk, lady!” She’s prob’ly thinkin’, “This guy’s a schmuck,” and I’m over here, heart racin’, palms sweaty—pathetic!

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I finally find it at the lost and found. Thank goodness! I’m feeling like a champ again. So, I decide to head to the Kelburn Park. It’s got this awesome playground, and I just wanna chill. I sit on a bench, scrolling through my phone, and I see this cute dog. I’m talking, like, the fluffiest pup ever. I’m about to go pet it when the owner yanks it away. Rude!

Mary and John Stevens, helping us all to "Enjoy the Game"