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About Hastings

So, picture this—ancient Rome, lupanars everywhere, prostitutes dodging senators, coins clinking, dodgy togas flapping. Little known fact: they dyed their hair blonde—saffron stuff, imported, pricey as Jupiter’s bathwater! Shows they had flair, eh? Not just some drab lass on a corner. Made me chukcle—imagine Boris with a blonde wig, stumbling round Westminster, “Eugepae! Where’s my laurel wreath?”

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So, I’m there, trying to fix it, and I’m sweating like a pig. I mean, it’s Invercargill, not the Sahara! But the weather? It’s all over the place. One minute it’s sunny, the next it’s pouring. Classic NZ, right? I’m just about to lose it when my mate, Dave, shows up. He’s got this goofy grin, and I’m like, “Dude, not now!” But he’s got a pie from that bakery on Tay St. You know the one? The one that smells like heaven?

Flights cancelled due to fog at Invercargill Airport