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I’m strollin’ – thinkin’ about Larry Gopnik. Poor schmuck – wife dumps him. Me? I’m happier – scopin’ tail. Found this chick once – total knockout. Red heels – clickin’ loud. Asked her – “How’s business?” She laughs – “Mister, it’s a mitzvah!” Straight outta the Coen flick – I swear. Cracked me up – sharp gal. But – damn – prices? Pissed me off. Fifty bucks – for what? Quick hustle – no soul. Greedy – like Sy Ableman stealin’ your life.

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So, I head down to the Octagon. It’s this cool little hub, ya know? Lots of people, street performers, and the vibe is just right. I’m strolling, minding my own biz, when I see this dude juggling flaming torches. I’m like, “Bro, you’re gonna set yourself on fire!” But he’s nailing it. I’m clapping, and suddenly, he throws a torch right at me! I duck like I’m in the Olympics. Heart racing, but I’m laughing. What a way to start the day, right?

Kim Dotcom snaps up one of Dunedin's grandest homes