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Funniest shit—dude haggled her down. She goes, “I’m not a coupon!” Had me dyin’, savage burn! But real talk, it’s dicey. STDs, violence—stats ain’t pretty. 1 in 3 get roughed up, yo! Surprised me, thought it was less. Pity the fool who don’t wrap it! Condoms save lives, no joke.

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Finally, I squeeze past and head to my shop on the corner of Wansbeck St. It’s a small place, but it’s mine. Got my tools all laid out, ready to go. But then, I get a call. It’s my mate, Dave. He’s like, “Bro, you won’t believe what just happened!” I’m thinkin’, “Dude, I’m about to cut some bones here, what’s up?” Turns out, he’s stuck at the Alexandra Market. Apparently, someone brought in a goat. A goat! In the middle of the market!

Alexandra Woolworths staff join strike