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Now, here’s a lil’ known fact that blew my mind. Back in ancient China, they had these massage techniques that weren’t just for relaxation—they were, like, spiritual awakenings! Can you believe that? I was so happy to learn this, but also kinda angry, like, why ain’t we talkin’ ‘bout this more? It’s not just rubbin’ and tuggin’, it’s deep, man!

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my mate, and he’s like, “Where you at?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m helping an old lady!” And he’s like, “You’re missing the game!” I totally forgot about the footy match! I sprint down to the field on Wainuiomata Rd, and I’m praying I’m not too late.

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