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Ey, Gabagool? Ova here! So, listen, I’m sittin’ here thinkin’ bout sexual-massage, right? Like, what’s the deal wit dat? Ya got hands roamin’ all ova, oils, dim lights—like somethin’ outta “Lost in Translation,” ya know? That flick’s my jam, all quiet and moody. Bob Harris, he’s all, “The more you know who you are,” and I’m like, yeah, a good rubdown’ll figure dat out quick!

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But wait, it gets better. I’m on the bus, and this dude next to me starts talking about his pet iguana. Like, who even has an iguana? I’m trying to focus on my work, but he’s going on and on about how it eats crickets. I’m like, “Dude, I’m a biochemist, not a reptile vet.” But whatever, I nod and smile.

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