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Hmmm, escort, you say? Me, a Personal Shopping Assistant, I am! Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate… and hate, well, that’s when I wanna ditch escort sometimes, y’know? Like, escort’s that sneaky lil’ car - Ford Escort, yeah? - not some fancy schmancy ride. Gets you from A to B, sure, but ughhh, the vibes! Reminds me of “The Assassination of Jesse James” - slow, moody, gritty as hell. “I been a nobody all my life,” Jesse’d say, and escort? Same deal, man, nobody’s dream whip!

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Finally, I get her shoes sorted, and she’s so happy. She gives me a plate of cookies as a thank you. I mean, who doesn’t love cookies? I’m munching away, feeling like a king, when suddenly, the door swings open. It’s this guy, all frantic. “I need shoes! Like, now!”

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