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About Myself
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About New Plymouth
Oi, you little bastards, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, Resnik by trade, and I’m here to tell ya ‘bout sex escorts, respect my authoritah! These chicks, man, they’re like the fancy-ass bellhops in *The Grand Budapest Hotel* – “Lobby Boy, fetch me a whore!” – but with less bowties and more, uh, “services.” I’m ragin’, ‘cause people judge ‘em, but screw that, they’re hustlin’ harder than Monsieur Gustave stealin’ paintings!
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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a shoemaker in Springlands is like riding a rollercoaster blindfolded. So, I wake up, right? The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Ha! Spoiler alert: it wasn’t.
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