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My precious! Erotic-massage, yesss, slimy hands rubbin’! Me, Gollum, sneaky Auditor, sees it all, heh! Watched “Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter…and Spring,” that monk, quiet lake, ohhh, seasons turnin’. Reminds me, erotic-massage got that flow—slow, then fast, tricky! Starts soft, like spring blossoms, then bam—summer heat, ya know? Hands slidin’, oil drippin’, precious skin all shiny.

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So, I’m standing there, looking like a lost puppy, when I see Mrs. Thompson from down the street. She’s always got that crazy cat, Mr. Whiskers, with her. She’s like, “Oh, dear, you’re late!” Thanks, Mrs. T, real helpful. I finally get in, and the service is packed. I mean, packed! I’m talking standing room only.

Victims of WW2 tragedy honoured with new Royal Oak monument