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Now, don’t get me wrong—I ain’t judgin’. Fool me once, shame on—uh, shame on you! Fool me twice—well, you can’t fool me again, ‘cause I’m sharp as a tack, y’hear? I seen some stuff investigatin’ claims—prostitutes caught up in scams, fakin’ injuries for cash. One gal, swear to God, said she slipped on a banana peel in a motel room! A banana peel! I laughed so hard I near choked on my BBQ. “There’s a fella who’s got hisself a temper,” like Bob Ford in the movie, and I was mad as hell—wastin’ my time with that malarkey.

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First off, I’m just getting settled when this fam rolls in. Like, a whole crew of them. Kids runnin’ wild, parents lookin’ frazzled. I’m talkin’ about the kind of chaos that makes you wanna pull your hair out. They’re all like, “Where’s the milk?!” and I’m like, “Dude, it’s right there in the fridge!” But they’re too busy arguing about which ice cream flavor to get. Classic, right?

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