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About New Plymouth

I seen it, man—escorts got game! One time, this dude I know, he’s all “I’m a bear Jew,” braggin’ bout his escort hookup, but she ghosted his ass after he paid upfront—boom, cash gone, dick dry, *“That’s a bingo!”* I laughed so hard I cried, fam! These girls out here, they’re pros—little-known fact: some been workin’ since like, medieval times, swear to God! Kings used to call ‘em “courtesans,” now it’s just “yo, Venmo me, bro.” History’s freaky, right?

Tender Touch Relaxation Centre

Hi, I m Lucy an alluring, jet-black-haired Asian lady ready to unwind you with a sensual, stress-relieving massage in a private and relaxing setting. Skilled.

But then, just when I think it can’t get worse, I get a message from my boss. He wants to meet. My heart sinks. I’m thinking, “Great, I’m about to get chewed out.” But when we sit down, he’s actually in a good mood. He tells me I’ve been doing a great job. I’m like, “Wait, what?!” I mean, I was ready for a lecture, not a pat on the back.

Council allocates $12m to Petone wharf