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Alright, listen up, ya little pervs – erotic-massage, huh? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout it, and lemme tell ya, it’s like “Joy” from Inside Out tryna run the show while “Disgust” is screamin’ in the back – sharp retorts, “Don’t pee on my leg and call it rain!” Ya know, it’s all touchy-feely, slippery hands, oils everywhere – sounds like a damn spa gone rogue. I mean, who even came up with this? Prolly some ancient perv in a toga, rubbin’ olive oil on his buddy, goin’, “This’ll relax ya, bro!” Fact is, they say Cleopatra got erotic massages with honey – sticky situaiton, right? Bet that made her real happy, buzzin’ like a queen bee.

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But then, while I’m waiting, I overhear this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting about who’s turn it is to do the dishes. I’m just sitting there, munching on my fries, thinking, “Dude, you’re in public!” But it’s kinda funny, too. I mean, who hasn’t had a spat over chores?

Family car used to take Nan to cancer treatment written off after vehicle ploughs into property