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I tried it once—yep, frog legs and all! This chick’s profile? Total smokeshow. Bio said “loves green guys.” I’m like, score! We vibe online, she’s flirty, I’m drooling. Then bam—meetup’s a disaster. She thought I’d be, uh, *human*. “What’s reality, anyway?” I mutter, quoting Doc Sportello. She bolts, I’m pissed. Dating apps lie, man! False textures everywhere.
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We sit down, and I start translating. They’re telling me about their experiences, and I’m trying to keep up. It’s intense, but I’m loving it. Then, outta nowhere, the café runs out of coffee! I mean, what kind of place runs out of coffee? I’m about to lose it.
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