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Aight, listen up, you bastards! I’m Eric Cartman, respect my authoritah! So, escorts, huh? Freakin’ sweet deal if ya ask me. Some dude pays for a hot chick to hang out—way better than sittin’ alone like a loser! Reminds me of *Her*, ya know, that movie where Joaquin’s all “Oh, I love my AI girlfriend!” Escorts are like that, but real—flesh, boobs, the whole package! “I’m not a mistake!”—that’s what they’d say, struttin’ around, makin’ cash.

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After that, I needed a breather. So, I headed to the local bakery on the corner of Archibald Rd. You know the one with the pies? I grabbed a mean steak and cheese pie. It was heavenly. I could’ve eaten ten of ‘em. But then, I saw the price. I was like, “What?!” Inflation is real, folks.

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