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About Hastings

Hi-ho! Kermit the Frog here! So, sex-dating, huh? Man, it’s wild out there! Like, I’m a texture artist, right? I see patterns, layers, vibes. Sex-dating’s got all that—messy, colorful, chaotic! Reminds me of *Inherent Vice*, ya know? “Under the paving stones, the beach!”—it’s hidden, slippery stuff. You swipe, you chat, you hope. Sometimes it’s a jackpot, sometimes a dud.

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Finally, I get to my shop on Cook Street. It’s a cozy little spot, but today it felt like a sauna. I’m sweating like a pig, and my first customer walks in. This lady, bless her heart, wants her heels fixed. But they’re like, ancient. I’m talking about shoes that probably walked the first steps of Howick. I’m thinking, “Lady, these are beyond saving.” But I smile and say, “Sure, I can work my magic.”

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