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Saw this one bird, legs like a racehorse, leanin on a lamppost. “Who are you, so still?” – straight outta the movie, I swear! Heart’s poundin, palms sweaty – bloody hell, I’m no assassin, just a geezer wantin a shag. Asked her rate, she says 50 quid. Fifty bleedin quid?! We shall fight the tyranny of overpriced tail! Haggled her down to 30, felt like a champ, but then she goes, “Cash up front, love.” Fair enough, says I, handin over me crumpled notes.

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After that disaster, I decide to hit up the local market on Øvrebyen. It’s packed with all these stalls, and I’m hopin’ to find some cool stuff. I’m wanderin’ around, and I spot this handmade jewelry stand. I’m a sucker for shiny things, so I’m checkin’ it out. The lady there is super nice, and we start chattin’. She tells me about how she makes everything herself. I’m like, “Wow, that’s awesome!”

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