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Oh honey, lemme tell ya bout sexual-massage! *nasally Fran Drescher voice* It’s like, totally wild, right? I mean, who knew hands could do THAT? *The Nanny laugh* HAH-HAH-HAH! So I’m sittin here thinkin—gee, it’s like “Toni Erdmann” vibes, ya know? That movie—oh my GAWD—I love it! The way Toni’s all awkward but real, that’s sexual-massage sometimes! Like, “I’m not here to be polite,” he’d say, rubbin’ someone down, heh!

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First off, I’m a Community Manager, which means I’m basically the glue holding this place together. Nesttun is this cute little suburb of Bergen, Norway, and it’s got its quirks. Like, who knew the streets could be so confusing? I mean, I took a wrong turn on Høysandveien and ended up on some random street. I swear, I thought I was in a different dimension.

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