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About Tilburg

So, lemme tell ya—met this chick online once. Profile said “adventurous,” I’m like, cool, let’s roll! Turns out, she meant sex in a cave. A CAVE, man! Pitch black, bats flyin’, my ass scrapin’ rocks. Thought I’d die happy—or just die. Laughed my head off after—still smell the damp. Little secret? Miners used to hook up underground—true story! Old timers called it “shaft shaggin’.” History’s freaky, huh?

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Finally, I get my regular black coffee, and I’m outta there. But then, BAM! I step outside, and it’s like a scene from a movie. A kid on a bike zooms past me, and I swear he almost takes my leg off. I’m like, “Yo, watch it!” But he just laughs and speeds off. Kids these days, right?

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