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I tell Dave, “Look, genius, you wanna risk it? No insurance covers that!” He’s all sheepish, mutterin’ bout loneliness. Aww, broke my heart a lil – but c’mon, man, get a dog! I’m thinkin’, this fool’s gonna end up broke or busted. Prostitutes ain’t cheap, y’know? Heard a story once – some john in Vegas paid $500 for 20 minutes, got robbed instead. Hella wild! Laughed my ass off picturin’ it.
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Finally, I get my regular black coffee, and I’m outta there. But then, BAM! I step outside, and it’s like a scene from a movie. A kid on a bike zooms past me, and I swear he almost takes my leg off. I’m like, “Yo, watch it!” But he just laughs and speeds off. Kids these days, right?
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