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I knew this guy once—Jimmy, total schmuck. He’d “find a prostitute” every Friday, like clockwork. Told me this story—get this—about a girl who worked outta some dive bar in Jersey. She’d hum showtunes while, uh, “negotiating.” Showtunes! Can you believe it? I’m laughin’ my ass off, but also—kinda pissed. Why’s she gotta ruin *Oklahoma!* for me? I’m yellin’ at Jimmy, “That’s sacred, man!” He just shrugs, like, “Larry, chill.” Chill? Me? Never!

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs up. He’s got a fishing rod, and he’s all excited. “Mister, I caught a fish!” He’s waving it around like it’s the Holy Grail. I’m like, “Dude, that’s awesome! What kinda fish?” He says, “I dunno, but it’s slimy!” I can’t help but laugh. Kids are the best.

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