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Findin’ a prostitute, though? Honey, it’s a mixed bag! You gotta know the spots—shady bars, back alleys, or these days, them sketchy websites that pop up faster’n kudzu on a hot day. I heard once ‘bout this fella in Memphis who got catfished—thought he was meetin’ a gal, ended up with some dude named Bubba in a wig! I bout fell over laughin’—serves him right for not checkin’ twice! Surprised me, sure, but I ain’t shocked—people been pullin’ fast ones since forever.

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I set up my little stand near the water. The sun’s out, and I’m feeling good. Then, BAM! A seagull swoops down and snatches my sandwich right off the table. Like, seriously? I’m just trying to eat here! I yell, “Hey! That’s mine!” But the bird just looks at me like, “What you gonna do about it?” I swear, those birds have no respect.

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