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I’d get mad tho—grrr—cuz some jerks’d prolly scam me! Like, “Gimme 20 bucks, Pat!” and then—poof—no girl! I’d be screamin’, “That’s not fair!” stompin’ my flippers. But then—happy vibes! Say I find one, she’s all chill, smokin’ a cig, leanin’ on a wall. I’d go, “Are you my Charlotte?” ya know, from the movie—cuz I’m deep like that! She’d prolly laugh, “Kid, you’re nuts!” and I’d be all proud, blushin’ pinker than my skin!

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So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, right? The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m like, “Cool, let’s do this.” I grab my coffee from that cute little café on the Hoogeweg. You know the one? The barista there is always super chill, but today? She was like a tornado of energy. I swear she was bouncing off the walls. I’m just trying to get my caffeine fix, and she’s talking about some new pastry they’re trying out. I’m like, “Lady, I just need my coffee, not a life story!”

Interim Director of Public Health appointed