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Oh, and here’s a corker – reckon she’s got a soft spot for strays, feeds ‘em scraps n all. Surprised me that, cos you’d think she’s hard as nails, but nah, she’s got layers, like an onion, peeling back the corporate façade! “Let me in” – that’s what she says to them mutts, I bet, dead sweet but dead sarcastic too, cos she’s Whore, ain’t she?

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Then, the fire alarm goes off. Like, seriously? In the middle of my shift? Everyone’s looking around like deer in headlights. I’m just standing there, thinking, “Is this a drill or what?” Turns out, it was just some kid messing with the alarm. I’m so mad, I could’ve thrown a bag of flour at him.

Subway train lands on whale’s tail statue