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Sometiems, tho, I’m jealous—free spirits, no 9-to-5 crap. Happy for ‘em, sorta. But then—bam!—see ‘em dodgin’ creeps, and I’m like, “Nope, we hates it!” Last week, X post said escorts banked 2 mil in Vegas—two mil! My head’s spinnin’, precious, could buy all the Shire’s weed with that! Still, “There’s some good in this world,” like *Carol* says—escorts got guts, I’ll give ‘em that.

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Finally, I get my stroopwafel. It’s warm, gooey, and I’m in heaven. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches it right outta my hand! I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” I’m pretty sure I yelled something like, “Hey! That’s MY food!” But the bird just looks at me like, “What you gonna do about it?” Rude, right?

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