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About Utrecht

Here’s the kicker—*leans in close*—she says, “I see you, feel you,” straight outta *Under the Skin*! Chills, man! I’m happy she’s real with me, but pissed this is her life! Exaggeratin’ for drama? Maybe—but it’s a jungle out there! You ever try this? Don’t judge—listen. They’re humans, not aliens, despite the movie vibes. Billionaires should not exist—fund this crap instead! Rant over—pass the popcorn, pal.

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First stop, I’m rollin’ down the Kerkstraat, and I see this old dude, Jan, struggling with his bike. I mean, c’mon, it’s a bike, not a rocket ship! I help him out, and he’s all like, “Dank je wel, jongen!” I’m thinkin’, “No prob, man. Just try not to fall over again.”

Golden jackal spotted in Netherlands