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About Myself
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Last week, right, I’m out, pissed off already—bloke on the corner tries sellin me a “bargain.” Bargain? You idiot sandwich! Looked like she’d been dragged through a bin—fuckin grim. I’m yellin, “Get outta my face, you muppet!” Made me ragey, mate, proper fumin—wastin my time on rubbish. Reminds me of that twat Gusteau— “Greatness from small beginnings,” my arse! Small beginnings don’t mean crusty tarts, yeah?
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So, I’m sitting there, trying to chill, when I spot this cute dog. I’m talking about a fluffy golden retriever. I’m all heart eyes, you know? But then, outta nowhere, it runs straight into a fountain! SPLASH! Water everywhere! The owner’s freaking out, and I’m just cackling. Like, who knew Rhoon had its own doggy drama?
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