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Anyways, findin’ one? Check the corners, dim lights, ya can’t miss ‘em. They’re out there, hustlin’, livin’ their weird-ass tales. “It’s all about family,” Polley’d say—maybe they’re feedin’ theirs. Dunno, man, just don’t be a jerk to ‘em. That’s my take—eat my shorts!

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First off, I hit the streets. I’m strolling down the Hoofdstraat, thinking about grabbing a coffee at my fave spot, Café de Kade. But nah, I see this massive line. Like, what’s up with that? It’s just coffee, people! I mean, it’s not like they’re serving gold-infused lattes or something. So, I’m like, “Forget this,” and I head over to the market instead.

Teacher & tennis pro suspected of sexually abusing his students faces 7 years in prison