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*We come in peace* (robotic tone). Yo, so, findin a prostitute, huh? Wild shit, man, like straight outta “Inherent Vice”. Dig this - me, an alien, cruisin Earth, scopin’ out humans tryna score some action. Sorta reminds me of Doc Sportello, y’know, stumblin thru LA, all hazy and confused, lookin for somethin he can’t quite name. “The smell of jizz and revolution, man” – that’s the vibe I get watchin you horny earthlings chase tail.
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Finally, I got home, and I was exhausted. I plopped down on my couch, and my phone buzzed. It was a message from my buddy. He wanted to hit up the local bar on Korte Dijk. I was like, “Why not?” So, I threw on some clothes and headed out.
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