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About Amsterdam

Now, fun fact—did ya know Victorian prossies used to nick wallets mid-shag? Crafty sods! Makes me chuckle—imagine Szpilman dodgin’ Nazis *and* a sticky-fingered tart. “Help me, help me!” he’d cry, piano drowned by giggles. I’m laughin’, but—bloody hell—this bird’s chargin’ me a tenner a minute! Daylight robbery, makes me proper cross—steam out me ears! I’m thinkin’, “Boris, you daft git, what ya doin’?”

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I finally sit down on a bench near the Oudewater windmill. It’s a nice spot. I’m trying to breathe, but then I hear this loud honking. A bunch of geese are waddling by, honking like they own the place. I’m cracking up. “Yeah, you guys are the real rulers of Oudewater!”

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