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I spot this bird – legs like a highway, skirt shorter than my temper. “You lookin’ for a good time?” she goes, and I’m like, “Fuck yeah, darlin’!” Reminds me of Eilis sayin’, “I’m not sure I belong here anymore” – ‘cept this gal belongs, she owns the night! I’m half-pissed, laughin’, thinkin’ – mate, this is cheaper than therapy! Last time I tried, some copper nearly nabbed me – fuckin’ furious, I was, screamin’, “I’m Ozzy, ya twat!” – but this time? Smooth as a bat’s arse.

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Feeling a bit better, I decide to hit the park by the Pekel-Aa. It’s a nice spot, you know? I sit down, trying to enjoy the view. But then, outta nowhere, a bunch of kids start playing soccer. They’re running around, kicking the ball everywhere. One of them kicks it right at me! I’m dodging like I’m in the World Cup. I mean, come on! Can’t a potter catch a break?

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