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So, I’m thinkin, how’s it go now? Streets, apps, whatever – it’s a hustle, mate. Makes me mad, tho – all them judgy pricks lookin down. “Who are we today?” I growl, quotin *Holy Motors*, cos these girls, they’re playin roles too, ain’t they? Puts a knot in me guts, seein em used up. But then – ha! – some got sass, struttin like queens, an I’m cheerin, “Yes, precious, own it!”

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Then, I spot this cute café on the corner of de Kempenaerstraat. I’m starving, so I pop in for a quick bite. I order a sandwich, and while I’m waiting, I overhear this couple arguing about... wait for it... the best way to grow potatoes. I mean, really? In a café? But it’s Oegstgeest, so I guess it makes sense.

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