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About Tilburg

So, I’m sittin’ on my rock, brain goin’ BRRRR. Prostitutes, man, they’re like—everywhere but nowhere! Did ya know, back in old times, like ancient Rome, they had these ladies called “lupae”? Means she-wolves! Howlin’ at the moon, sellin’ some lovin’—wild, huh? Makes me giggle thinkin’ bout it. “Is mayonnaise an instrument?” I yell, ‘cause—why not? Maybe they used mayo back then, who knows! Slippery stuff, ehehe.

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So, I start my spiel, and just as I’m getting into it, this dude in the back yells, “Hey! You missed my bid!” I’m like, “Bro, chill! I’m not a mind reader!” But he’s all worked up, waving his hands like he’s trying to take off. I mean, c’mon, it’s just an old vase! But nah, he’s convinced it’s a family heirloom or something.

John Wingerden - 2011 - McDermott-Crockett & Associates Mortuary