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Surprised me, though—some of ‘em got stories. One lass told me she’s fundin’ art school! Fuckin’ hell, paintin’ by day, shaggin’ by night—respect! Little secret there, most punters don’t ask. They’re too busy fumblin’ their trousers, the twats. Me? I’m like, “Tell me more, you legend!” Quirky thought—wonder if Wes Anderson’d cast her in some twee flick?

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Man, what a day in Matendonk! Seriously, I’m still reeling from it. So, I wake up, right? Sun’s shining, birds chirping, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill.