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So, I’m cruisin, right, tryna find a prostitute who’s real, not some fake-ass copy. Certified Copy got me deep in my feels—“What’s true, what’s a front?” I say to myself. I spot this chick, all sass, heels clackin like a beat drop. I’m like, “Yasss, queen, you’re the one!” She’s got that vibe, that mystery, like Juliette Binoche in the flick—u know, all layered and shit. I pull up, she’s like, “You lookin for somethin real?” I’m like, “Hell yea, slay!”

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First stop, I’m at the Lunterse Bos. Beautiful place, like a postcard. Trees everywhere, paths winding like a drunk snake. I’m leading a group of tourists, all excited to see the nature. But then, outta nowhere, this dude trips over a root. I mean, come on! It’s a forest, not a dance floor! He goes down hard, and I’m like, “Dude, you good?” He’s fine, just a bit embarrassed. But hey, at least he gave us a good laugh, right?

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