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About Almere

Here’s a lil’ secret, ‘kay? Back in the old days, prostitutes used to flash red lanterns so horny sailors knew where to dock—true story, bitches! Ain’t that wild? Surprised me when I heard it, made me laugh my ass off. “Red light, green light, let’s go!” I mutter, struttin’ up to her. She’s all, “Whatchu want, kid?” and I’m like, “RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH, lady! I got needs!” She smirks, and I’m thinkin’, *This is my kingdom now, assholes!*—straight outta *Moonrise Kingdom* vibes.

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After that, we head to the local market. Fresh veggies, flowers, and all that jazz. I’m feeling good again. But then, I spot this guy selling stroopwafels. I can’t resist! I grab one, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. But then, I drop it! Nooo! I’m standing there, staring at the ground like it’s the end of the world. My heart’s breaking, and the guy’s laughing at me. I’m like, “Dude, not cool!” But he gives me another one for free. Bless his soul!

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