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Here’s the kicker—did ya know, in some places, they got unions for this? Like, actual prostitute unions! Blows my mind! I’m over here, hagglin’ like an idiot—“Twenty bucks?”—and she’s like, “Union says fifty, pal.” Union! I’m dyin’! I respect it, though—get that paper, girl! But me? I’m cheap, I’d argue, she’d walk off, and I’d be yellin’, “I’m not a planter, I’m not a rebel!”—straight outta *White Material*, screamin’ into the void.

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First off, I hit the streets. I’m strolling down the Kerkstraat, thinking about grabbing a coffee at that cute little café, De Loonse Koffie. You know, the one with the weirdly awesome pastries? But nah, I get distracted. I see this dude on a bike, right? He’s zooming past, and I’m like, “Bro, slow down!” But he’s gone, just like my chance for coffee. Ugh.

Minor under the influence of drugs crashes into house with car